Your Marriage . . . May Be Built to Dissolve
The Origin: Narcissistic Patterns
Some people believe that one should simply take action based upon what feels best to them in the moment - If it feels good, do it. If it feels good to marry somebody, do it. If it feels good to divorce somebody, do it (Of course, there are exceptions to this when it would be reasonable to do so such as with abusive relationships).
There may come a time when the human no longer seeks to overcome its narcissistic desires and behaviors, but rather, to enact them, to the best of its ability, and to interpret those desires and behaviors as moments of “authentic” “self expression”. Here, narcissistic desires are interpreted as those aspects of the personality to be most exalted as the truest aspects of the personality, whereas anything that requires abstinence from satiation . . . Or the sublimation of libido - Is regarded as an affront to the “true self”. Henceforth, the individual and society each regress into a pattern of decadence and consumption – Of goods, of sex, of people, of experiences, and of identities.
The Strength of the Will Center
The capacity for marriage - Generally speaking, the commitment to any "Vow" is a characteristic of the mature human being, and so it serves as a rite of initiation into adulthood and confers upon the individual the recognition that one has assumed the responsibilities that are required of the adult progenitor - To perpetuate a society built upon a foundation of the Will to fulfill the terms of a virtuous vow and to suppress of the narcissistic desires of the child-mind. This is the foundation of the "Strong Family".
The Purpose of the Vow In General
The practice of the "Vow", in general terms, consists in the practice of elevating the Will above the narcissistic desires of the child mind. That is, to consciously choose one's behaviors and to sublimate one's libido into the formation of a principled relationship between oneself and an Ideal in order to produce a self and society that is built upon the strength of the human's Will. The capacity for a human being to apply one's Will to the fulfillment of a verbal agreement anchored in virtue provides adults and children with the bedrock required for trust and vulnerability to form in our social world.
Unconscious Narcissism Persists
Today, the Vow is often regarded as merely a delightful new toy to be purchased at the nearest shop, and to be discarded when it is no longer entertaining to the narcissistic child mind. The casualties of this behavior are the psychological health and wellbeing of both partners, their progeny, and generations of others whose foundation is built upon the quicksand of an immature adult's narcissistic decision to explore the "Vow" without the true intent to or capability of fulfilling its terms.
Therefore, perhaps one should either modify the vow in order to reflect one's true intent - That of temporary union and future dis-union . . . Or else take-up the vow's standard template and fulfill it to term. Theoretically, either approach could be moral and just. However, the failure to fulfill the vow as a result of a lack of Will may produce psychological damage to all parties involved, and this may propagate throughout future generations.
Perhaps one should be encouraged to make only the vow that one intends to and is capable of fulfilling. The failure to achieve this often results in the universal loss of trust in the basic premise that one's word may be fulfilled - Under any circumstance. The presence of lack of Trust in the basic human strength required to fulfill one's verbal vows or commitments impacts ones self, relationships, economics, politics, business, and ethics both personally and throughout the broader society.
The Will Center is the foundation for a Vow, and it's purpose is to achieve developmental progress from the self's state of narcissism into a Virtuous Ideal. In taking-up a Vow, one shall be encouraged to fulfill it, or make an amendment to the Vow and to fulfill that.
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