Why Don't Men Take You Seriously?

Men are some the most simple creatures in the world, so it's a wonder that most women don’t understand them. Steve Harvey’s book, Act like a Lady, Think like a Man, gave women an expose of the mind of a man, and how women should act when dating. Some the tips in the book include the 90-day rule, and when to know a man is not interested in you.  I never read the book - I just saw the movie. However, I never thought I needed to read the book, because I grew up around men most of my life. First of all, I was the only granddaughter out of all the grandchildren. Secondly, I had an unconventional upbringing.  Although I made some bad choices with men, I feel that what the men in my family taught me helped me survive bad relationships. 

This not the typical article in which you search for why you can’t get a man because of unresolved issues. There are plenty of those articles on the Internet.  Psychologists and other licensed professionals write these type of articles trying to psycho analyze your childhood experiences with men. The most popular "reason" that psychologists and other licensed professionals like to use when referring to your problem with dating men is the lack of a male figure during your childhood.  For some women this reason may true, but there are plenty of women in the world who are in healthy relationships that don't have a male figure in their life. The one thing that most articles don’t discuss is the reasons why men don’t take you seriously, from a man’s point of view. What am I talking about? I am talking about men’s categories for women.

Men put the women in their life into categories. 

Have you ever thought about why  your male friend always asks you for advice about relationships or tells you things that they don’t normally tell other women? You have just been placed into the "counselor" category, and each woman serves a purpose when placed in a certain category.

Sad, But True Categorizations Tha Men Make

1.  The Slut 

Don’t cringe. We are all adults here.  There is one mistake that women make. They think that “conquering” a man by grabbing him away from his girlfriend or wife makes them the winner. Nope, not at all. It places you squarely in the "slut" category. Your sole purpose in the relationship is to pleasure him by doing the things the girlfriend and the wife doesn’t do.  And if that's the case it is really not a relationship to him. What are the signs? He doesn’t spend the night, leaves after having sex, and no contact around the holidays. The most significant sign is when he doesn’t leave his girlfriend or wife for you. Oh, by the way, nothing said or done by you is private - He may very well kiss and tell.

2.    The Friend

Now this category has both advantages and disadvantages.  The home girl is the chick that becomes a member of the Boys Club. You get a firsthand look at how men think, and they tell you the real reasons behind their behavior. In other words, you are their friend - Almost like a male.  You will have to be aware of the girlfriend or wife who may never understand why both of you are so close.  When the significant other ask questions about what you talk about, she doesn’t get a real explanation.  You don’t have to worry about him telling others your business, and he will help you whenever you need it. However, hanging around too many men at once will give other men the impression that you are taken, so they may never approach you. My advice is to try to find some female friends.

3.  The "Other Woman"

This is different from the "slut" category. Why? When a man labels you the "other woman", that means that he has some feelings for you. He tries to find ways to spend time with you, even around the holidays. Some men financially take care of the other woman’s expenses even if they are not in a forma relationship.  This is the reason why I say that men can love two women at the same time. The purpose of this woman is to provide him with peace before he has to go home and to fulfil a void.

These relationships don’t always end well. Some men can’t and won’t let go. Furthermore, you risk not finding a relationship with another man because you stayed with him for too long. However, this type of relationship works for some women, and sometimes the other woman wins in the end because the “main woman” continued to be hateful toward him.

If you ever wonder why men don’t take you seriously, see if you fit into one of these categories. If you do, stay tuned for the next article to see how you can remove yourself from these categories.

- Heather Browning, MBA, BA