Whatever Happened to Being a Lady?
Whatever happened to the days where men appreciated classy, sophisticated women? When did classy women have to compete with unsophisticated women? Dating can be a vicious game. Men say they want a classy, smart, sophisticated lady. I am starting to think that men don’t know the difference between a classy woman and an un-classy woman. Social media doesn’t help the situation. Social media makes classless women more acceptable and put them on a pedestal.
So what are classy, respectable women supposed to do? Are we supposed to pray the roles to be reversed? Unfortunately, I don’t think the situation will change anytime soon. More and more women are single than married. It seems that substandard women are taking over, and it is no longer an even playing field.
Man’s current dating choices makes you feel like you have to lower your standards. More importantly, it makes you feel everything you worked for and everything your family and mentors have taught you was for nothing. Society has given the public a distorted view the definition of a classy woman.
I was at a salon about three weeks ago and listened to a conversation between two women and a man talking about the relationships and dating. After a lengthy discussion, they came to the conclusion that there are not enough good men in the world. That statement is partly true. I think they are not enough men in the world who know the difference between a classy woman and a classless woman. But it makes you ask yourself the following question. What is the point of being a good girl? Women outnumber men 2:1, which makes the completion harder. Nevertheless, it appears that everyone has somebody. I completely understand the feeling. I often wonder the point of being a lady when social media constantly display images of women in very revealing clothing. What is the point of being independent and mindful of your reputation? My pastor once said in one of his sermons that women don’t need to fret or get discouraged. Your season is coming. But how long do you have to wait? Don’t worry about that.
While you are waiting for your season, don’t compromise yourself. Changing your personality and standards is the first thing you do when you feel you kicked out of the way by a classless female. That is the wrong thing to do. The one thing that I have learned life is never to compromise your beliefs and always stand your ground. But more importantly, you need to have tough skin and never let the other woman see you sweat.
Focusing on my spirituality helps me when I start to doubt and question my identity and my accomplishments. Men make bad mistakes. What looks good on the outside is appealing at first. You have to remember that men have dumb moments. Some men realize their mistakes.
Be the bigger woman at all times. You may not like the fact that you are in competition with substandard females. But you have to deal with them. Women are emotional. We react childishly, when we see the target spending time with the enemy. You have to regroup and analyze the situation. Maybe there is nothing to the situation.
The other woman will make the situation appear conspicuous. If you are a lady, you don’t have to worry about the other woman. You are closer to the finish line than you think. You may have to restart the race. But you will always be closer to the finish line. The other woman is playing catch up. You have to act as if his choice doesn’t affect you. Confidence is the key to winning the battle.
Never get discouraged when you don’t win the battle. You can’t win all the time. It is a fact of life. If he doesn’t realize he made a mistake, don’t feel defeated. Think of the loss as a blessing. The man you thought was the one for you was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You have to be patient. It takes some men longer than others to realize their mistake.
A smart woman observes her target. Start looking at the type of women that hang around him. If you always see him with substandard women, he is a substandard man. You don’t want him. You dress a dirty, smelly pig in fine clothing. But the pig will always be dirty and smelly. What do you think?
-Heather Browning, MBA, BA
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