The Little Pink Book: A Guide for Women
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This article is about a woman's little pink book. This is NOT the same thing as a man's little "Black Book", nor is this is a woman's guide to how to be player. So if you were expecting this type of article, then stop reading and Goggle something else. I’ve been thinking about writing this article for a while, and now, I finally have the opportunity to write it. Now, you are probably asking yourself, what in the world am I talking about? I’m talking about overcoming being the pretty girl’s sidekick at social outings. Trust me. I know the feeling. I was always the third wheel or a sympathy sidekick. After a while, I got depressed about my appearance to the point that I started to believe that I was unattractive. After a while, I started to feel bad about my accomplishments, and I started wondering if I chose my career over my love life. Every time I saw “my type” with what I call a sub-standard female”, I didn’t understand why he was with her. In other words, I didn’t understand why a “good man” preferred a “needy woman”.
I finally figured it out. These “good men” want “needy women” because the “needy women” will always solidify a man’s sense of strength and manhood. Ladies, I know that this sounds sad, but don’t start feeling hopeless and disappointed. Don’t start feeling that you have to choose between your career and a love life. More importantly, don’t feel that you will always be the ugly girl amongst your single friends.
1. Upgrade Yourself
Sometimes you have to upgrade yourself. Never compromise your reputation and devalue your self-worth in order to get attention. You have to decide what type of woman you want to be, and this may require that you observe the women who fit your persona. For example, you are not going to find a classy sophisticated woman at the club getting drunk and flirting with strangers. An intelligent woman is not going to speak unintelligently or walk around in shabby clothing. In order to transform yourself into a better and more confident person, you will have improve your wardrobe and keep yourself together. You want people, men and women to always speak positively about you. For example, “Every time I see her, she is professional and she dressed well.
2. Get Your Own Clique.
Change your surroundings. Surround yourself around people you admire and share your goals and your beliefs. You may find yourself around two or three other people, but it is worth in the long run. You will also discover that the “good man” you saw with the wrong woman wasn’t a good man after all. If you want a man that appreciates what you have to offer, your will quickly find out that he is not going to look for a sophisticated woman at the club.
3. Start Acting Like a Wife.
Don’t start acting like a wife after you get married. Don’t change your behavior after you get a boyfriend. Start acting like a wife before you become a wife. Everyone has a list of what type of characteristics they want from a man. After you make your list, understand that you are not going to find someone that has all the characteristics on your list. In other words, be realistic and ask yourself whether or not you have the same characteristics on your list.
4. Listen To Others.
I hate when my single friends with boyfriends love to give you advice. They think they know everything, but they don’t. When I was in my mid-twenties, my college classmates tried to tell me how to get a man, and they would always tell that someone will come along, but nobody ever did. Now I know that it wasn’t my time. It is frustrating to see everyone around with someone. But are they happy? Focus on the things that are important to you. More importantly, be independent. An independent, established, confident man doesn’t want a woman who is shabby and dependent. If you are around a man that is like that, run far, far away. He is not for you.
My mother made a good point. You are not going to meet a single man who doesn’t already have another woman in his life. He may not label her “his woman”, but always remember that there is another woman around. Single is exactly what it means, not married. You are simply an option. The best way handle that situation is make him feel that he is simply an option, and make him chase you. As I always say, let the best man win.
- Heather Browning, MBA, BA