Taking A Chance
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A few days ago I left my therapists office a little distraught and decided to go to the mall, and just walk and look at potential Christmas gifts for my family members. I am very soft I guess you could say so little kiosks I usually skip over by pretending to talk on my mobile, running past the men with samples, or listen to a song too loud on my iPhone. Well this time I failed and got pulled in by a man named Ohad. I sat in a chair, listening to him show me lotions, exfoliators, and other skin products. The funny thing was that they really did work. It was impressive and I had never entirely been impressed by a kiosk salesmen before.
Well then he said 'You can get the lotions and other products for a deal at 800 dollars'. Okay people, I am a young twenty three year old girl who has jobs but not enough to buy 800 dollars worth of products. To cut a long story short, I ended up buying two products for 400 dollars. I know, it was BAD on my part, but it was a good deal and the products covered half of the woman population in my family so 400 for about eight woman in my family was pretty good in my eyes. Then he tried selling me another thing for 500 dollars. I am not lying here. Look up Forever Flawless cosmetics or their 24k gold lotions and such diamond line of cosmetics and lotions. It's crazy that I was so gullible, but I was, and I must say I still am.
A man arrived before I left, and we began to talk, and somehow I told him I liked to write and what I was doing for work and he asked me if I would want to help him write a book. I have never done something so spontaneous as accepting a job offer from a guy from a mall kiosk. It is not me, and it definitely is not approved by my parents. I am twenty three but I am close to my parents and I trust their judgment but we have to remember, parents don't know everything and don't know the best in some situations and I took a chance to go behind my parents back and do something that at the time that I met the guy was dangerous. I didn't know almost anything about this guy, I had just met him in like an hour, and in less than an hour I had accepted to write his book.
He is dying slowly of something and I know anyone can say that they are dying and have someone believe that. I said I was dying to friends and family pretending to be someone on Facebook. I even told people that loved me that I had died so I personally know how possible it is to lie to people and for people to believe you. This man could have lured me into something worrisome, but I have never taken a chance this big and after fighting my bipolar, I was ready for excitement, even if it may be dangerous.
I will write more about this, but the man is Israeli and we get a long very well. We have just had two meetings about his book and I love to write, and I think we have to remember, the way that we do things are not always the way others want. My way of writing is my way, so to become a writer for someone else has been more than hard. Today's meeting was hard because I didn't understand what he wanted from me and I had spent all week writing pages for him, that I think he was not entirely happy with. That is life, and I guess tonight I was expecting a call that he would want to hire someone else to write for him, but instead he called me to tell me that he was proud for how hard I have been working, and for me I realized I love working for someone that is so blunt and that is not afraid to tell me that my writing is crap when it is to him.
We have to remember that criticism is good and for me sometimes when even my parents tell me I've done something bad, I blame it on my bipolar when really it isn't, it is just a mix of what I have done and another persons response to my actions. We over think things, and I think it gets in the way, particularly when bipolar comes into the picture when you find yourself obsess over something until you realize how stupid your thoughts are.
Take a chance sometime and do something that you are not comfortable with doing whether it is telling yourself to stop thinking in some manner that is ironically more comfortable than making the situation better and not thinking negatively, or if you have a dream to get out of your house accept an invitation to a party or take a job at the nearest diner. Being uncomfortable has been my best friend when it comes to moving toward my goals after my fight with bipolar.
- Susan Page