Personal Growth & Are You Happy?

Writers, researchers, and licensed professionals have all focused on helping individuals obtain happiness.  You can’t find happiness in objects, other people, or the newest treatment. Happiness, real happiness, comes from within. A lack of happiness makes it hard for a person to develop emotional stability, and emotional stability is key to making rational decisions and getting through bad situations.

What does it mean to be happy? The answer to the question depends on the individual. Some say happiness is what you make it - Your children, spouse, or mate. The question should ask yourself is what makes you happy?  If you ask several people that question, they will tell you that someone or something makes them happy.  I have found myself answering that question with similar responses, which include what I have - My job or my partner. When I experienced problems with my job or my partner, I quickly became unhappy and somewhat depressed. Was I really happy?  Well - My happiness may have existed, but it was transitory and based upon impermanent objects - I found myself placing my happiness in people and in material things.  After my partner and I split and I got over my pity party, and I decided to start my own personal transformation process.  Everyone needs to re-vamp and replenished themselves, and the process begins with creating a list of characteristics that you want work on, but everyone’s personal growth process should include the basic objective of discovering what makes you happy. What happens to your happiness is determined by other people and things? You will lose your identity and peace of mind.

Happy Because of "People" and "Things" =


1.  Lack of Self or Identity 


Never define your identity based upon people or things. If you don’t think you have this issue, try writing down characteristics about yourself. If you are still having problems making your list, start writing down the responses to the question, "How will other people describe you to a stranger?"  When you define your identity according to their career or a specific person, you will become hollow and a shell of a person.  What happens if tour career or the people who make you happy goes away? Are you going to fall apart?

2.  No Peace of Mind 

That’s right. Finding inner happiness that is free of external objects is the key to peace of mind. Peace of mind is another item that should be your “personal growth” list, which we will discuss in another article.  When the things or people that make you happy go away, you may find yourself trying to fill the void with entertainment and social gossip that only serves to distract you from your true self.  If you continue to find fulfillment through gossip, you will eventually drive yourself crazy and start living your life through other people. Suddenly, you go from independent to co-dependent with the stories of others, you become emotionally numb to your true desires, and people may perceive you as obsessed with the lives of others.  At first this may feel gratifying, but eventually you will be surrounded by others who only satisfy their cravings for life through gossiping about others during every single conversation - Don't feed your bottomless pit of desire through consuming the content of other people's lives.  Find a way to establish internal happiness, and let go of what others are doing.

After evaluating whether or not you fall into these categories, start finding out what really makes you happy. Happiness is internal and unwavering.  Nothing and no one can take it away from you. I found happiness in my abilities, intelligence, and a renewed thirst for life.  Some people may call me conceited, but I don’t care.

How Does Inner Happiness Affect Personal Growth?

1.  A New Outlook on Life 


The whole point of personal growth is to have a new perspective on life. Inner happiness is key - After you find it, life is no longer horrible and gloomy.

2.  You Will Start to See the Light 

I really want to say that you will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel in every situation. You won’t give up, even if you wanted to. In other words, you will be able to resolve problems more efficiently, and not let your problems control your life.

3.  Regain Pieces of Yourself

As I stated earlier, you lose pieces of yourself if you continue to base your happiness on objects and people.  When you find happiness, you will start to build healthy boundaries with other people and yourself. You may say to yourself that you won’t fall in love too quickly.

But don’t set boundaries in which you are unable to build relationship with other people.  You have to some sort of vulnerability. But don’t be a fool and people take advantage of you.  Remember happiness is what you make it. So what do you think? Do you think happiness is the foundation for personal growth?

- Heather Browning, MBA, BA