My Teenage Anger

I hate telling this story about my childhood, but I am writing it because I believe that it could truly help somebody else who is in need.  The most essential thing to remember about this is that these events occurred when I was a teenager – The adolescent years are very complex because changes are taking place psychologically and biologically.  It’s not as simple as it appears on the surface, because the monumental changes that are taking place can seem to be beyond our control, and everything is impacted by a cascade of growth hormones that are specifically secreted for the purpose of developing new physical strength, sexual capacities, and problem solving abilities - Enough to result in a sense of overwhelm and agitation from time to time.

Anger

This story is primarily connected with my experience of anger, which created a serious problem for me during 11th grade.  This particularly powerful emotional experience of anger occurred when I was eating lunch in the High School cafeteria, and my food was accidentally pushed to the floor while a couple of my classmates were in a scuffle.  I shouted at them to watch out, but they ignored me and began trampling my bag, books, and the table where I was sitting prior to their intrusion.  Again I yelled at them to stop destroying my things, but they were not listening.  Immediately upon seeing that they were not responding to me, I became furious, and I picked up my bag to begin beating both of them with great force.  My angry wrathful resulted in one of the kids banging his head against the concrete wall, which caused him to bleed profusely.  Although it was not my intention to harm him in this way, I was called into the principal’s office, and I was scolded for my violent behavior.  I felt so bad about the whole situation that I was sobbing, but she continued scolding me.  I left her office and angrily hit a vase that was outside of her office, which caused it to fall and shatter and led to my suspension from school.

Tough Time At Home

I came home to tell my mother about the day, so she began scolding me as well – She explained that she and my father worked hard for an honest living and that I was wasting my opportunity for a good education with a bright future.  She said that if I didn’t want to study than she would make sure that I was removed from school.  My father was of an older generation, and he used corporal punishment with me in order to drive the message home,  but I was so upset with them that I ran away that night and told them that I would never come home.  Of course, my father managed to find me about 2-miles away from the house in order to bring me back home, and my mother told me that I should leave, join a gang, and never come back if I wanted to behave in this way.  I slammed my door that night and intended to stay in my room to stew. 

Relax and Release

However, I soon began surfing the web, and I came across an old video that showed how my mother and father once taught me as an infant – I saw how much they cared about me and began to feel sincere regret for how I had behaved that day.  I apologized to my parents, but they said that it would require some time before things would be back to normal, whereupon it occurred to me that the principal and my classmates were probably very shaken as well.  I was filled with tears as I drove to school the next day even though I was suspended, and I went directly to the principal to apologize.  I told her about everything that I was going through, and I explained that I didn’t know why I was feeling this way – She was very understanding and explained that it was completely normal for me to feel restless and reactive because I was going through a lot of changes at my age.  She explained that although I was going through a lot of changes and would continue to experience extremes of emotion throughout my adolescent years, that I must restrain myself because my classmates are also experiencing the same types of challenges.  She urged me to practice experiencing things from other people’s perspectives and to adjust my behavior according to other people's needs.

I understood her completely, and I immediately found my classmates and apologized to them sincerely.  My suspension was removed from my record, and I have since looked back on that day as one in which I learned a great lesson about compassion and understanding from an intelligent and perceptive principle.  

- Anonymous Contributor