“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless he or she is simply going around the corner, and will return in a few minutes with ice cream sandwiches.” ~Lemony Snicket
Growing up and moving away from home can tough. Whether you are leaving for college, moving into an apartment, or getting married, moving away, even if it is just down the street, can be a life-altering experience. Although moving away from your parents can be stressful, to say the least, there are ways to cope with this transition. Truth-be-told, starting a new chapter in your life, away from family, can be traumatic for those who have never lived away from their parents. Why? Well, because most young adults have been sheltered, to a certain extent. For instance, even if you had a “bad childhood experience,” your parents still provided for you. In other words, you did not have to pay bills and handle crises by yourself. Now, that you are an adult, those responsibilities fall on your shoulders, which can be nerve-wrecking. Well, if you are moving away from home for the first time, do not fret, because this article will give you some practical tips on how to survive away from mom and dad.
Keepsakes
A good way to cope with moving away from your parents is to take your most cherished keepsakes with you. These invaluable items will provide comfort when you start to miss your mom and dad. So, before you leave home, pack your most valued keepsakes (i.e. family pictures, old birthday cards, coveted stuff animals from your childhood, etc.). In other words, pack up all of the things that remind you of “home sweet home.” And, once you arrive at your new destination, decorate your home or room with those keepsakes. When you start missing your childhood, pull out an old card, pick up your family picture off a mantle or desk, and/or hug your favorite childhood stuffed animal. Although you may be homesick right now, eventually you will adjust and start to feel more like your old self.
Social Networking Sites
If you are moving far away from your parents, you might want to sign up for social networking sites, like Facebook, Instagram, and/or Twitter. You may also want to help your parents sign up for one of these sites. Why? Although these sites sometimes, get a “bum rap,” they are excellent for keeping in touch with loved ones and friends that you cannot physically be with at the time. Facebook and Twitter allow you to post updates (i.e. what is happening in your life), and Instagram allows you to post pictures (i.e. your scenery and environment). The great thing about signing up for one or more of these websites is that it allows you to send a note to your loved ones, whenever you feel lonely and homesick.
Smartphones
You may also want to update or expand your smartphone service plan, if you are getting ready to move away from your parents. Why?Well, because it will allow you to “phone” your parents when you are ill or lonely. With a good service plan (i.e. unlimited texts and calls), you will be able to communicate with your parents, whenever you need or want to talk. Sure, it will not be the same as talking to your mom and dad in person, but texting and talking on the phone is the next best things, besides video chatting (i.e. Face Time). If you decide to upgrade your cellular plan, make sure you do it before you leave home. Why? Well, because it will prevent you getting overage charges during those early weeks and months of independence.
Work
Another really good way to cope with moving away from family is to get a job. Even if you do not technically need a job – get one anyways! Why? Well, because it will take up a lot of your time, In other words, it will distract you, so you are not sitting around missing your parents. It will also help you meet new people and make new friends. Moreover, working will help you feel more productive, and it may even put you on the right path to accomplishing your goals. If you are unable to work, school will also achieve the same purpose. Enroll in some classes at your local college, or go back to earn a degree, and you will be too distracted with coursework and friends to sit around and mope.
Socialize
If you want to cope with moving away from mom and dad, you will definitely need to get out and socialize. This may be the last thing on your mind, immediately after moving away from your parents, but it is a necessity, if you want to get adjusted to your new environment. The worst thing you can do is sit around your new place and mope. Note: If you are moving to a new place where you do not know anyone, do not fret—you will make friends (i.e. neighbors, co-workers, classmates, etc.). Just give it time, and be open to new experiences. Who knows you may even find the love of your life once you get adjusted to your new circumstances. So, the next time you are invited to a party, event, or even to dinner – GO! Even if you do not feel like going, make yourself go. Going out may actually lift your depression, and remind you why you moved there in the first place.
Cry
Yes, cry, if you need to. In other words, an effective way to cope with being away from family is to cry when you need to. It is ok to be sad and miss your loved ones, when you are away from them. It is also ok to cry when you get sad and/or lonely. No one expects you not to miss your family. In fact, most people eventually move away from their parents, so they understand what you are going through. So, go ahead and cry when you get sad. Trust me it is OK.
Plan Return Trips
You will be able to better cope with moving away from your parents if you plan frequent trips home. Knowing that you will be seeing your parents in a few weeks or months will take some of stress off of you. In other words, it will help you relax a little. The need for frequent trips will be especially heavy during the first few months after you move, but over time, the need to return home so often will subside, and you will get used to living in your new environment (i.e. friends, a partner, a job, and/or school).
Note: If you experience an unbearable sadness, and simply cannot cope with the separation, you may be suffering from separation-anxiety. In such a case, a counselor or psychologist will be able to teach you healthier coping strategies to get through the transition of moving away from home.
References:
Goodreads. (2015). Quotes about leaving home. Retrieved from http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/leaving-home
Women’s and Children’s Health Network. (2015). Parenting and child health: Leaving home. Retrieved from http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=1535
