How To Control Anger, Frustration, and Rage

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From my perspective, anger is a basic human emotion that is neither good or evil.  Anger can actually be a healthy expression of important feelings in some situations, and this is best exemplified by short term anger or frustration, because it comes and it goes without doing too much damage.  Therefore, the anger is not necessarily a problem - Rather, anger only becomes a problem when you take action that is harmful to yourself or others.

Chronic and long term anger are two variants, and long term anger or explosive anger can adversely impact every part of your life. Chronic anger can also affect your physical and emotional health, but anger is suggestive of hidden problems such as buried sadness or sometimes even a mental disorder. Regardless of the cause, it's important to control your emotions.

7 Techniques for Controlling Anger

1.  Break Time!  The moment when you recognize that you are becomming uncontrollably frustrated or angery, walk away, go to a quiet place, and find a cup of decaffenated tea or cool water. Do what is necessary in order to remove yourself from the frustrating situation and calm down for a few minutes.  This is important to do the instant that you recognize that you're angry, so take action to calm down.

• At Work:  If your frustration builds in the work-place while you are meeting with a co-worker, remove yourself from the situation, take a break, and step outside.  Fresh are is important, especially in today's sterile and cold office environments.

• At Home:  SIf you are at home when you become angery, don't hide in the bed-room.  Rather, go for a good long walk, a hike, or a run.  You have more time available to work through your emotions at home when compared with your office environment, when you need to be at your workstation throughout the day.  Use this valuable opportunity to get some good personal time and relax deeply. 

2.  Take deep, rhythmic breaths.   Deep breaths will slow down your heart rate and cool down your body temperature.  Take 10 deep breathes.  Inhale through your nose, and exhale slowly out your mouth - Squeeze your lips together as though you are blowing on a cup of warm soup.

3.  Vizualization.  Close your eyes and imagine a place that you find relaxing.  Vizualisation will help to calm your mind and manage your emotions.  Anger is a difficult emotion to sustain if your mind is clear and focused.

4.  Connect With Others.  Connect with others through meaningful and heart-felt conversations, which can help you to process your feelings and reduce your frustration.  Talk to someone who you can trust.

5.  Positive Thinking. Positive thinking will help to boost your confidence and get you into a better frame of mind while prepping you to discuss your feelings in a positive and constructive way.  

6.  Laugh!  Humor is a great release for the mind, body and soul.  Humor also helps to manage negative feelings with a type of thought replacement.

7.  Express Your Feelings Appropriately

• Learn how to express what you are feeling with the person that is frustrating for you right now - If you just want a sounding board, state at the beginning that you don't want help or advice, just a good listener. If you're looking for a solution, let the other person know so that they can help you to solve your problem.

• Set a time limit. Give yourself a set amount of time to share what's upsetting you, and stick to it - When time is up, your rant is over. This will help you move on instead of dwelling on the situation endlessly.

Controlling Long Term / Chronic Anger

1.  Exercise Regularly. Exercise helps to release positive neurotransmitters in the brain.

• Running or Jogging.

• Weight training.

• Cycling, cycling class.

• Yoga or pilates.

• Basketball, baseball, football or soccer

• Swimming.

• Rock Climbing

2.  Change the way you think.  Changing your thoughts can help you to see the situation from a different perspective.  Use of thought replacement can help you to better manage feelings of anger.

3.  Keep a journal.  Writing down your feelings can help you to release your negative emotions without causing harm to yourself or your relationships.  Keep your journal in a private place or even in a secured online site.  This is important so you can be honest and open in your journal.  Let your thoughts flow freely.

4.  See a professional. If you feel that you can not manage your anger, seeing a professional therapist or psychiatrist can help you learn how to manage your anger in new ways.  A psychiatrist may prescribe medication that can help to stabilize mood thus control anger, while a therapist can help you identify triggers and solutions for how to appropriately express your negative feelings. 

Additional Tips:

• If you're annoyed because someone is taking out their own anger on you, allow their words just flow around you, and when you notice they've finished talking either look at them blankly and say "so" or smile, say "you're absolutely right" and walk away.
• Watch what you say when you're angry. You don't always feel the same when you are angery as compared with when you have calmed down and thought of the situation.
• Try listening to soothing songs that bring peace to your mind.
• If you get angry easily and find it hard to control yourself, find a quiet place away from everybody. Scream into a blanket, pillow, or anything to stifle the noise. (If you want to, you can even just yell if nobody is around.) It'll help you let off some steam.
• Recognize that sometimes anger is justified, and may need to come out. However, realize that there are productive ways to do express your frustration instead of lashing out at others.
• Ask yourself if the future recipient of your furor deserves to be blown up at, or if you are just using them as a punching bag to release steam about another person/issue that bothers you.
• Find a creative outlet, such as writing, drawing etc. where you can expend your energy. Hobbies help elevate your mood and allow you to channel your energies creativilr rather than dwelling on issues that you aren't able to resolve. Imagine what you could do with your energy you choose to channeled it into something other than anger.
• Think about the stress you put on yourself when you feel angery. Do you enjoy feeling that way? If not, change your situation.
• Meditation is a useful way to release stress and/or anxiety, the precursors to anger.

- Kim B.

References:

These strategies are based upon WikiHow's “How to Control Anger” article.
How to Control Anger. (n.d.). Retrieved January 19, 2015, from http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Anger