How Did They Ever Get Together?
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How did they ever get together? Yes, I have asked myself that question when I see a couple that didn’t seem to look like they were supposed to be together. Sometimes, I accidentally say it out loud. But I often times wonder how some women attract men who you’d think only date a certain type of women. Ok, I hope you can read between the lines because I am not trying offend anyone.
If you are single, and have been single for a long time, you probably know exactly what I am talking about. I have spent too much of time wondering why am I still single, especially after turning 30. For some reason, 30 is the magic number for women. 30 is supposed to be the age where a woman is supposed to have a career, get married, and be established. In other words, it's the age where you should turn on the light switch. However, more and more women find themselves single at 30, and that it is the end of the world. I feel like that sometimes. After turning 30, I realize that all of my sorority sisters and most of my high school classmates are married, happy, and have great careers. Don’t let that fool you. You don’t always know what goes on behind closed doors.
You’re better off than your friends and other people than you think. At this point, you should start feeling better about yourself. If not, than keep reading. So, you find yourself sitting alone in a restaurant one day and you see a handsome man with an ugly woman. You suddenly start wondering how this handsome man can be attracted to this ugly women. Finally, you ask yourself, what is wrong with me? NOTHING! So, you think. Never assume that you are perfect. But stop reading every article about tips about dating and reasons why you are single. These dating articles are filled with techniques and tricks that can mislead you, and you will start psychoanalyzing yourself and every word a man tells you. That can be your downfall.
Don’t disregard all articles about dating and relationships. Some articles are very helpful and informative. However, most articles about dating and relationships seem to say the same thing. Psychologists say that you are single because of unhealthy relationships in the past, fear of competition, numerous rules for dating, and “the list” (Firestone, 2013). Psychologists and dating experts love to focus on how to fix you and tell you what you are doing wrong. Unresolved personal issues and not moving forward from past relationships can affect your future relationships, but it is time to stop letting men off the hook. As I stated earlier, sometimes there is NOTHING wrong with you. No one wants to address men who date certain type of women. I have been the woman in scenario that I mentioned early in this article. Psychologists and dating experts fail to mention why men date certain type of women. Just think. Do you really want to be the unattractive woman across the table from the handsome man? Men with ulterior motives seek women with certain characteristics to boost their self-esteem and their ego. Remember, these are wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Types of Women
1. The Big Girl.
I have to give a disclaimer before moving forward. This section is not for the independent, classy, confident big girl. Big girls need love too. This section is for the big girl who has low standards and low self-esteem. Men are attracted and seek this type of woman because he knows that she will do anything he wants her to do because she feels lucky to have a man. In other words, he doesn’t feel that he has to respect her and can easily control her by “feeding” her insecurities.
2. The Pretty Airhead.
Men seek this type of woman because he can easily mold her into whatever he wants her to be. The pretty airhead is generally not able to make choices for herself and depends on her looks to get through life. You will never want to be a man’s trophy. After a while, he will discard the trophy and move on to the next woman. Remember looks, fade.
3. “I like the natural look” woman.
I have heard many man say this, and often question why? This statement is only a new way to say that they want a plain Jane. Why? Men who look for Ms. Plain Jane think that she will not ask for much and be very submissive. More importantly, they think that no other man will want her.
Always work on yourself and don’t settle for less. 30 and single is not a bad thing. It only means that you know what type of man you want, and you secure with yourself. Some men fear you because they don’t want appreciate a good thing.
- Heather Browning, MBA, BA
Firestone, L. (November 2013). 8 Reasons You Might Be Single. Psychology Today. Retrieved February 6, 2015.