From Jealousy to Success

We all get jealous from time to time. When someone has something that we want, even those closest to us, it can be hard to be happy for them without feeling a little sorry for ourselves. We feel that we deserve good things too, and may even think it unfair that they have what we don't.

But jealousy can ruin our lives, because it reinforces negative thinking patterns.

Our thoughts create feelings, and the feeling of jealousy is created by three thoughts:

1. I am not happy with what I have.

If we were truly happy with what we have, then we would not be jealous of others, however great their lives may be. True happiness allows us to stop comparing ourselves to others, and our experiences to their experiences. Jealousy shows us that we are not appreciative of the things in our lives, because we have got in the habits of being ungrateful and complaining, and also because we have let our self-development slide. If we are not where we want to be in our lives, we have to work toward our goals. Otherwise jealousy will follow us everywhere we go, reminding us that we are not living up to our true potential.

2. I can't have what they have.

Jealousy indicates a kind of powerlessness. If we feel powerful and we see others achieve, we take their achievement as an inspiration to guide us to achieving our goals. With this power we are able to convert our feelings of wanting something into action to get us there. When we have little belief in our abilities, though, we never consider that we could be in the position we envy others for if we work hard enough.

3. I can't do what they have done.

Like the above, this indicates low self-belief, but in a different way. When we look at others' achievements and feel jealousy, it is because we don't believe we can achieve as they have. Sometimes this is due to natural ability or talent that others have, but more often it is to do with the habits they have cultivated. Successful people have systems that work for them - thought systems, motivational systems, relationship systems - that they continually hone to carry them to success.

These three thoughts are disempowering and destructive to our lives. So, unbeknown to us, when we are jealous of others, we actually prevent our own personal growth and progression.

So, how can we turn jealousy into our own self-development toward success?

1. Practice gratitude.

Though we might not yet be where we want to be, being grateful for what we already have enhances well-being, which makes us perform better all-round.

2. Stop comparing ourselves to others.

Life is not a race, and each one of us has a different path to follow. We have to find out what success truly means to us so that we can feel truly fulfilled, rather than copy others blindly.

3. Get goal-oriented.

Set some attainable but stretching goals for yourself that encourage personal development. Once you have reached those, celebrate and set new ones.

4. Believe in yourself and your abilities.

Make sure that you don't put yourself or your abilities down, either out loud or in your thoughts. If you are in an environment that feeds you negative messages about yourself, try to change your surroundings. If this is not possible, then work on developing a strong, encouraging inner voice.

5. Develop success-systems that work for you.

Practice the art of self-reflection and look at your life objectively from time to time. What's working? What isn't? For those areas of your life that need improvement, try to find different strategies and plans to make them better, then put them into action. Don't be discouraged if things don't work out, keep trying and soon you'll see results. Success-systems are continually evolving and never stay the same for long, so stay on your toes and prepared for change so you can keep enjoying success in all areas of your life.

When we continually strive for personal growth and self-actualization, jealousy becomes a very small part of our lives and much more manageable. It may still crop up from time to time, but instead of letting it dictate our behavior and sustain negative patterns, we can view it as a sign that one of our areas of self-development needs more attention. We can all move past jealousy into success by empowering ourselves to change.

- Iman Mohiki