Forgiving My Enemies

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Yes, I can understand the question, how could I expect you to forgive your enemies?  If you read these verses from the Christian bible you would see that, Mathews 5:44 guides us as follows: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who prosecute you”, another verse says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat, if he is thirsty, give him water to drink”. And now you may ask the question, how could one possibly forget all of the pain that one's enemies have inflicted upon us intentionally or unintentionally and how could one actually pray and wish the best for them? In this article I would like to share my experiences on how this strategy helped me to get out of my depression. 

A College Experience

During my second year of college I met a man who was good looking, smart and intelligent. He was a college senior who had graduated from his program and was working with an IT company at the time.  We met during an alumni event, and I was one of the current students of the college who was organizing the gathering.  Since he had been the college secretary while he was still in school, I often needed to contact him and get information that we passed out to the students. After the meeting, we texted each other frequently, and I was aware that he was interested in me, so after few months of getting to know dating and spending alot of time together he finally proposed to me.  Although I didn’t accept his proposal immediately, I took a few days of time to think about our relationship and then said yes. The next year of engagement was great for me as we spent more and more time together learning about each-other and connecting even more deeply. Since he had been a college senior and former secretary when we first met, most of my classmates were actually jealous of me, and many girls were friends with him as well. I wasn’t suspicious about it; in fact, I was glad that many girls are willing to be friends with him.

During the final year, I was very busy with my final thesis, and we couldn’t spend much time with each other, but after I had submitted my thesis I felt relieved and informed him that I have successfully completed my final degree requirements. However, when I called him, he suddenly began to say that he was busy, and when I asked about when he could meet, he tried to give me reasons for avoiding a date!  I felt bad, and I could definitely sense something was wrong. I was worried for him - maybe he was having a tough time at his job or perhaps he had some family issues.  As a result I decided to stop calling him until he was feeling better, but eventually weeks passed, and I realized that something was very very wrong, but he wasn’t opening up. Soon, all of our classmates had planned for a night out, and on that night we were sleeping in the same room, and my close friend who was well aware of my relationship was sleeping next to me.  Since I didn’t usually sleep until 2.a.m, I was watching videos with a headset in my tablet, and at around 1.a.m I heard a vibrating sound, and it was from my friend’s cell - she had a call. I took the phone and I was about to wake her up, but I noticed that the phone number she was receiving the call from, was my fiancé! Still I woke her up pretended I didn’t even look at the phone and laid down, she spoke with him for the next two hours, and I was crying under my sheets. From their conversation I was sure they were getting close, and they had been together several times before. I was terrified, and the next day morning I didn’t speak to anyone.  I just left to go home, and the following days were the worst days of my life.  I felt cheated and I lost faith in everyone. After that incident, he called me a few times, but I didn’t pick-up the call, and I ignored both him and my friend. I got a job and went to the office daily and worked like hell, because it was the only way to forget about my pain at the time.  I didn’t attend any parties, avoided friendships, and family functions, and I lived like a the walking dead for the next three years (Shocking right!!!). 

Yes, I was very depressed. Many of my friends and family tried to motivate me, but I still felt miserable, suffered from insomnia, lost weight, became chronically pale, etc. One day a friend of mine asked me to accompany her to the church, and I reluctantly I accepted and went along with her. 


Pray For Those . . . 

The verses in this article were explained beautifully by the priest, and with my experience I was very much inspired by his sermon - “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who prosecute you”, another verse says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat, if he is thirsty, give him water to drink”.  I started believing in that phrase, and I was analyzing myself – “Why should I hold on to this anger and ruin my life?  Yes, they have cheated me, insulted my love and have behaved very badly”, but let me be good.  Of course I was not able to pray for them at that stage, and I am still not that big hearted, but I was able to forgive them – “I accept their mistakes and forgive them I said to God.” You won’t believe I was at peace after three long years, I was back to normal after that day, I smiled, thanked god for giving me the courage to forgive them. I didn’t try to converse with them again, but even if I meet them again I feel that I definitely would not be angry. Nobody is perfect, people do make mistakes and blunders, and only a few of us have the heart to forgive, forgive them not for their sake, for your sake. Praise the Lord!!!

Author:  Anonymous Contributor