Forgiveness in Real-Life

People who undergo physical pain can have different reactions to their challenges, where some may feel self-pity and hold onto contempt, especially if they feel that the pain was wrongfully inflicted upon them by somebody else.  However, the cure for anger is forgiveness.

The Event

Several days ago I fell down in my home as a result of the actions of my professional care-takers (I am wheelchair bound).  The person who precipitated my falling is a young caretaker who doesn’t seem to take life seriously, and on this particular day I was sitting on a chair that has small wheels.  The wheels are designed to move me from one place to another without the need for moving into a wheelchair, because that requires more work on everybody’s part, and a simple chair with small wheels is fine for saving time and energy.  Although we usually have two care-takers on duty at any given time, there was only one today.  One of the professionals is older, more thoughtful, and generally takes her environment seriously, and she has worked for me for a very long time.  The other, as I said, is younger and still needs more training. 

The younger one seems to get panicky whenever she is left alone and without her older counterpart – She seems uncomfortable and uncertain as to how to do things.  Although she strives to be very hard working, she has a volatile temperament and is sometimes absent minded – She often does things without thinking and then apologizes sincerely, pleading with me to forgive her, which I always do.   However, the other day she came to help me, and I noticed that she was in a bad mood – She told me that somebody had called her about a personal matter that was disturbing her, but she did not share with me what was going on.  I got onto the chair as usual, but she was obviously angry while she was pushing it.  I could feel that her emotional volatility was now being pushed into the chair that I was on, and before I knew what happened, I was on the floor in intense pain.  Due to my extreme arthritis, I am very sensitive, and so the caretakers are usually very mindful of how to work with me - This is the first time that I was dropped in 30 years.

Some of the helpers don’t seem to understand that I have been living this lifestyle for 30-years, so I need to be handled with confidence and consistency.  I am comfortable with my current circumstance, but other people’s nervousness can result in problems – This is something that is particularly challenging for new employees.

Frustration

However, I had hired this person about 3-months ago, so I expected that she would be able to handle herself even though I was alone.  Her full knowledge of my chronic arthritis and the constant inflammation of my joints didn’t stop her from handling me carelessly, and the fall was extremely painful.  She apologized sincerely as she usually does, but once she put me into bed to rest, she simply let the whole thing go and asked me what I wanted for lunch.  My conclusion was that she was either immature or didn’t care – In fact, I believed that she was most certainly in the wrong profession.  For several hours I was in shock, and the pain was agonizing.  This is when I realized that I actually needed urgent help.  I reached for my phone to contact my husband and a relative who is a caretaker in a nearby hospital.  They rushed over within a matter of minutes and soon took me to a hospital.  The physical pain that I was feeling was not comparable to the contempt that I was feeling, because I had basically started the new year in the hospital.  However, as a college-educated woman in India, I have everything that I want and need in order to live a productive life.  In-fact, I currently operate several businesses, one of which is article writing online.

During my recovery I was unable to work for several days.  Even now, I must type slowly as I overcome my hard feelings.  However, the process has helped me to simply make up my mind and forgive this young woman.  She is not the first to make these types of mistakes, and there are actually several times that some of my helpers have mishandled me, which resulted in a trip to the hospital.  Since that time last week I have been able to overcome the pain with massage, exercise, and medications.  However, the key to making the emotional shift has been in finding a state of forgiveness in my heart. 

- Anonymous Contributor