End Self-Consciousness and Shyness

Do you want to be charismatic and confident by overcoming anxiety or shyness?  Do you want to make get dates easily, make friends and conversation with anyone effortlessly?  When you are around other people, are you self-conscious frequently?  Does your attention immediately go to your clothes, behavior, body or overall person, and you somewhat feel insecure or awkward?  Well, you can learn how to put an end to all of this and stop being self-conscious.

Let me explain to you how others have managed to overcome being self-conscious.  You will be able to attain great results by applying these ideas.

ALCOHOL ISN’T THE WAY

When talking to others about how to stop being self-conscious, you will be surprised at how many people will say, “Just have a few drinks and you will stop feeling self-conscious!”

It is the truth that in a social setting with some drinks does help people become more comfortable and relaxed, in fact, I’ve felt this way myself.  A couple of shots or a beer can reduce the overanalyzing about how self-conscious you are, helping you to be confident.

However, this method is not recommended and is by far NOT the best solution.  In fact, this can make you dependent on alcohol in order to feel confident and comfortable; it doesn’t fix the root of the problem, it damages your long-term health, it makes if even more difficult to be comfortable without drinking and overall creates many other tangential problems.

Drinking is out, so let’s consider some better alternatives in regards to helping you not be self-conscious.

SHIFT YOUR ATTENTION TO OTHERS

The fact that your attention is solely focused on you is a huge component of feeling self-conscious.  But if you can deliberately shift your attention on the environment or on other people, you will quickly begin to relax.

This is why it is a great exercise to practice shifting your attention.  Try to focus away from yourself when you are feeling self-conscious. 

For example, if you are having a conversation with someone, focus on what the other person is saying.  Instead of contemplating the way you look, attentively listen to them.

You will get better with practice at shifting your focus, which will help you loosen up more and more when you are in social situations. 

STOP YOURSELF

A simple and very useful technique to stop feeling self-conscious is to notice for a second or two your internal dialog, and then yell, “Stop!” to your inner forum; not out loud, of course. 

You will see that when you are around other people, you are probably criticizing and questioning yourself within your internal dialog, which makes you feel self-conscious.

You’re commanding this fault-finding thinking to stop by using this technique and interrupting it.  This automatically brings you a sensation of relief. 

The problem is, though, this effect will usually not last more than a few minutes, and then your self-doubting comes back, making this technique only a temporary fix.  Eventually, you are going to have to implement a solution for the problem that is PERMANENT.  The only true solution can be:

CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION AND SELF-IMAGE

People who are self-conscious ultimately are this way because they think they always need to make other people like them, or they believe they are not good enough at some level, or other irrational stuff.

This is what makes them become aware of their faults, as well as makes them focus on themselves in social situations.  If you would be alright with some people not liking you, or would truly like yourself, you wouldn’t focus on yourself all the time and you wouldn’t become self-conscious in the beginning.

So the true solution to stop being self-conscious is to try changing your self-image and thinking.

The good news is, there are some psychological tools that you are now aware of, which are proven and work very quickly beyond that self-help junk.

TIPS

1.       It is very effective to push yourself.  When you feel like doing something that will make you feel excited and confident, but are having a hard time doing it because of your self-consciousness or anxiety, then CHALLENGE YOURSELF! 

2.       Don’t search for approval from others.  You will never get rid of your self-consciousness if you live dependent on others validations.

3.       STOP JUDGING YOURSELF!  The world won’t judge you.  Know that you truly are your worst critic.

4.       Don’t be on the defensive all the time.  It isn’t the end of the world if you admit to wrong-doing.  Go ahead and apologize and move on because EVERYONE makes mistakes.

5.       Tell yourself that you are good at everything you do, that you are positive and ready to make needed changes regularly.

- Erin