Did You Like It? Let's Talk About Sex!
I can’t read your mind! That’s what you want to say to your mate during an argument, especially after one night of horrible sex. After being in a relationship for a while, you’d like to think that your mate would know how to pleasure you. Stop before you continue reading, this article is not for individuals who are not in a serious relationship. No offense, but I have to save that article for another time. Now, back to the subject. Your mate can’t read your mind! Sexual compatibly is a very important component in every relationship. Some relationships fail due to lack of intimacy, so if you are having problems with intimacy within your relationship, stop and think about why before searching for the solution on the Internet.
Your search will lead to articles that address lack of sex due to low sex drive in men and women, worst and best sex moves, sex additions, and so forth. I Googled "sex and relationship"s before writing this article, and I must urge you to be careful about reading some of this content, because you might think that the content within these posts pertains to you. Nope, not always. What many of these articles do not address is the key word "Communication". Yes, communication. We are adults. Western Civilization has made sex a sin, but you should no longer keep it a secret or a topic that you can’t discuss without feeling embarrassed. You are an adult. You should be able to freely discuss sex with your partner, especially if you are not satisfied. Even the Bible talks about sex.
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Jesus Talked About Sex
If Jesus can talk about sex, so should you and your partner, especially if you are married. Furthermore, try seeing a sex therapist if you need a neutral third party to help you feel comfortable about talking about sex. Remember, your partner can’t read your mind. You have to tell your partner what you want. The longer you and your partner stay together, the more you and your partner evolve over time. So should your sex life. You can’t continue to use the same moves and think that your partner is happy. FYI, women have mastered faking an orgasm. Sometimes we fake an orgasm in order to keep a man’s ego intact. But, that is, sometimes, the problem. So, what you do you do to bring sex back into your relationship?
1. Learn your mate. My mother always told me, “Heather, learn your man!” The statement is for men also. You need to know what makes your mate happy, sad, and get in the mood. If you don’t, just ask, but not blatantly. Learning your mate’s behavior can ease your anxiety when it comes to sex. You can’t assume that your mate is always satisfied with your performance.
2. Try new things. It never hurts to try new sex positions. That doesn’t mean that you go out and purchase the Karma Sutra. Take baby steps, if this is new territory for you. This is great way to rediscover one another. Also, try going to an adult store together. You will be surprised as to how many couples enjoy going to an adult store.
3. Be nice. Pleasing your partner is a sensitive subject, and whether you believe it or not, we all seek approval from our sexual partners. We have the need to want to please our partner to the point that we forget how. Have confidence. The one thing that can ruin your chance toward a healthy sexual relationship is showing your partner a look of disgust after have sex. Remember, you are not perfect either.
4. Make time for Sex. Yes, I said it. Between work and kids, you have to make time for sex. If you make time to go to the gym, than you can make time for sex. You can even make sex a new exercise class. It is a great way to burn calories. I know this can be hard if you have children, so if you have children, start having dates nights, and get some alone time.
5. Keep yourself together. A lot people think that after you become “the one” that you don’t have to work hard to keep your mate. That is not true, and don’t let your friends tell you any different. What you did to get your mate, you have to work twice as hard to keep to keep your mate. Don't stop showing them your affection just because both of you have decided to be monogamous. Treat them well as much as you can.
- Heather Browning, MBA, BA
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