Bring Your Sexual Passion Back to The Bedroom

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Have the symptoms of chronic depression effected your sex life?  Sadly, depression can have damaging effects on most areas of your life, but when depression hits you in the bedroom, the effects can be very painful.  Even the treatments designed to help you fight your symptoms, such as antidepressant medications, have sexual side effects.  This may feel like a vicious lose-lose cycle.  This may be difficult to read during your time of despair, but there are ways to light a fire to your sex life!

The best place to start is with your perceptions.  Use the mantra "enjoy more and stress less".  Place sexual fallacies out of your mind.  Sometimes we find it impossible to sexually perform because we are trying too hard to live up to imaginary pressures.  In reality, not everyone has amazing sex all the time, and orgasms are not achieved by all people every time they have sex.  Keep in mind that your depression may be temporary and it can be treated.  This is the truth.

It's critical that you understand your problem at the core level and the best way to overcome the negative effects to your sex life is to get treatment for your depression.  Because certain antidepressants have their own sexual side effects, seeking cognitive behavioral therapy can give you a non-pharmaceutical option.  This type of treatment addresses your negative thoughts and supports your positive behaviors, and it is a viable option to help your depression-related sexual problems. 

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Exercise to get your heart rate going.  Research suggests that only 20-30 minutes of exercise can enhance your sexual mood and your emotional health.  When your blood gets moving, your mood-enhancing chemicals (endorphins) are released.  Also, as you notice your body getting into better shape, you may start to feel better about yourself as well. 

Physical touch is a very important part of intimacy and it's also an effective way to combat depression's isolation-focused behavior patterns.  Maybe all you need is a nice back rub and some rest, but you can also simply just hug and cuddle more.  Have fun exploring different massage techniques, and remember that touch is a wonderful boost to your libido and you don't always need a partner to touch your own body.

Women who take antidepressants may experience the negative sexual side effect of sensitivity loss in the genital area.  But, estrogen cream applied directly to the labia can improve sensitivity and stimulation, thus enhancing libido.  Speak with your ob-gyn and your depression doctor.  Some products are even available over the counter.  Vaginal dryness is also an unfortunate negative side effect of clinical depression and its treatments because of difficulties becoming aroused.  Intercourse is painful without lubrication, therefore you are less interested in having future sex.  This is a terrible cycle.  The subject of sexual lubricants is no longer a strict taboo, and they are regularly seen on television on programs and in commercial advertisements - They are easy to purchase, use, and are a simple solution to this problem.  Talk with your partner about which flavors could  be fun in the bedroom!

Use a longer arousal time to your advantage.  Some people suffering from depression may take longer to feel aroused than they were accustomed to.  Enjoy foreplay and take your time to experience what is pleasurable. This is also a win-win situation for the partner who is not depressed too!  Go deeper than foreplay by venturing into erotica.   Overcome sexual side effects through fantasy and experimentation.  Get yourself and your partner aroused by watching an adult film or by wearing sexy lingerie.  Even reading a spicy romance novel may do the trick.   

Be open to talking about medications.  It may feel awkward speaking to your doctor about sex and depression, but remember that your doctor is a professional and this is not something they haven't discussed before.  There are many prescription medications available, and with collaboration, the right medication and dosage may help your symptoms.  Sometimes antidepressants are combined with sexual enhancers, such as Viagra (sildenafil), that can help both men and women improve sexual response.

Sex is the physical side of romance, passion, adoration, affection and all other emotional entities that you nurture for your partner.  It replicates the intimacy, intensity and excitement of your beautiful relationship.  A healthy sex life defines a healthy and happy couple.  

At times, everyone gets stressed to the maximum and it takes a toll on our love life. The moments of togetherness get shorter and intimacy becomes routine.  But you can attach the lost links for a more intimate relationship.  Bring back the magic of those lost pleasurable moments to yourself and your partner.  

- Jeff Stein


Insightful Comments


Depression is the single most intimacy killing disease in the world today. Depression in every form it comes, with all of the side effects, and the side effects of the treatment options can be deemed The Intimacy Killer (TIK)/Depression.

I have faced depression through job loss, death of a family member, destruction of relationships because of my actions or inactions, assumed or real. The incidents have not always directly involved my spouse, but the after effects of the depression have certainly affected our relationship and especially the intimacy.

When I crawl within myself and refuse to allow anyone, including my spouse, to share my pain, that's when The Intimacy Killer (TIK)/Depression shows up and shows off. It is hard to believe that a male will turn away from his partner and not want sexual intimacy, but it has happened to millions of us. We often push away those that are closest to us and most qualified to help us through the difficulty.

Me personal experiences have shown me that when I feel like running away from intimacy, that may be the prime time that I need to be in the arms of my lover. I don’t believe in faking it until you make it. However, I do believe in "faith-ing it" until you make it. Have faith in your spouse/lover and trust that the intimacy you share will not only be therapeutic, but it will also be fun, exciting a thwart The Intimacy Killer/Depression.

Is Your Sex Life Lacking Sizzle? (n.d.). Retrieved December 4, 2014, from http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression-pictures/spicy-ways-to-beat-depression-sexual-side-effects.aspx