Are You Ready for Marriage?
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Do you wonder if you are ready for marriage? What should you know before taking the vows? You really should take a better look at yourself and your relationship before getting married. It’s important to think about these questions:
What are your reasons for getting married?
Think about the reasons why you are engaged and plan to get married. Write down the pros and the cons about your relationship and partner. If you need to be talked into getting married, then it is probably a bad idea. You shouldn’t have to talk your fiancé into it, either. Do not get married to avoid or escape something. Don’t get married simply because you always wanted to get married. Listen to your body. If you get sick or nauseous every time you look at wedding dresses or when you meet the caterer, maybe that is a sign you are not ready for marriage.
Do you know and trust your partner’s history?
The best way to determine your future with your partner is to look at his past relevant behavior and learn from it. Has your partner had bad past relationships? Has he ever behaved badly with you? What is your partner’s parents’ relationship status? Children learn from what they have lived through.
Is your marriage planned or just the wedding?
Flowers, fine china, and cake are exciting, but you should be thinking about the rest of your life, not just your wedding day. You need to be married happily, not just married. Think about the future and put the same effort and time into planning your marriage as you are planning your wedding. Come up with an agreement that outlines how you both will handle discipline, sex, money, children, labor division, careers, religion, in-laws, retirement, and anything else that is important to you and to your fiancé. It is difficult to merge two different lives together and discussing these matters will help you to determine if marriage is a good choice.
Can you afford to lose what you are investing?
Do you have to give up family, friends, or your career? What is your relationship costing you? Will your emotions be bankrupt if everything falls apart? It is always better to choose to be alone and healthy than be with someone else and be sick.
Have you discussed your expectations and needs?
You know yourself, so you should be able to determine if someone is good for you. You should have goals for your relationship. Don’t wait until marriage to talk about your wants and needs.
It takes two to make a relationship work. If you got it going on with your relationship and are still able to enjoy a life with family, friends, social life, and career, then you may be ready for marriage! Some other positive aspects that show you may be ready are:
· You still enjoy special moments with your fiancé. You don’t mind running errands or doing chores together.
· You feel confident that you can let go of exes and everyone else that may be a threat to your relationship. Sometimes, people who are negative toward your relationship must be let go, unless, of course, he or she has a really good reason for you to question your relationship.
· You both bring out the better person in each other. You find yourself more pleasant and patient when your other half is around.
· You are both able to compromise. It is about “we” now, not “I” or “me”. If you want to go to the Caribbean Islands, but your fiancé wants to go to Disney World, and you end up along the Atlantic Ocean, you both compromised and should do great as a married couple.
· You cheer each other on, no matter what it is. If you want to run the 5k marathon, your fiancé is right there watching you run through the finish line. If your fiancé masters a high level on a video game, you will be there to give him a high five.
· You can talk to each other about anything and everything. Your other half won’t judge you when you talk about dreams, worries, mistakes, and frustrations. You can cry if you want to, because you aren’t expected to always keep up your guard.
· You can respectively disagree with one another. Conflicts occur with every couple. It is a matter of how you handle the conflicts that matters.
· You both have values that are similar. You have the same thoughts on kids, recycling, or spending money. You don’t have to be exactly the same or share brains, but you should be headed that direction.
· Your family or friends accept your idea of getting married. If you are given two thumbs up to marriage, then good vibes must be felt about your relationship.
· You have long term thoughts about the rest of your lives together. You thought about starting a savings account together, picking out furniture for your new home, and you make plans together for years ahead. All of these thoughts show that you are ready for a future together, not just a marriage and honeymoon.