Adding Mystery to Your Long-Term Relationship
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When you are in a long-term relationship, you know your partner well and while this is a good thing, it can also decrease the mystery in your relationship. Mystery keeps things fun and exciting so you want to do everything possible to maintain it. Those relationships that lack mystery can leave both partners wanting more and this can strain your relationship. There are many ways to rekindle that mystery and take your relationship back to the excitement you had in the earlier stages.
Leave Your Schedule Behind Once in a While
Adults today are very busy and having a schedule is important, but it leaves very little room for mystery. About once a week, commit to doing something spontaneous to have some fun and reignite the passion in your relationship. Even little changes can make a big difference, such as:
a) Spend a night in a hotel together
b) Stay up a little later together
c) Try a new type of cuisine
d) Sleep in once a week
e) Turn off your phones for an evening
These add up to more time together in a way that you normally do not use. This will add some spark back into your relationship. Of course, if you can do bigger things on occasion, such as taking a spontaneous weekend trip together, this too will have a positive impact on your relationship.
Break the Rules
Rules are meant to be broken and breaking rules can actually improve your relationship. Start by breaking small rules to ease yourself into using this method to add mystery. Little things like eating a decadent dessert on a weekday, skipping the gym to watch a movie together or taking a sick day together are all easy rules to break that will improve your relationship. When you are with someone for a long time, it is easy for things to start feeling monotonous and rigid and this is a cycle that you want to break by breaking some of the rules in your relationship.
Take a Minute to Surprise Your Partner
Many people say that they do not like surprises, but the truth is that surprises bring some excitement to life. The surprises can be anything that will make your partner happy and up the excitement factor. For some couples, this means something simple like a surprise gift, but for others, it means something like blindfolding your partner and taking them somewhere without them knowing where. You know your partner well so choose something that will cause a "do I know you" type of reaction.
Be More Playful with Each Other
Being more playful and acting like kids once in a while will add some spark to your relationship. Think about the things that you loved as a kid and do these with your partner. For example, head out into the backyard and play childhood games like freeze tag instead of going to the gym, spend an hour coloring on a rainy day or go to the local park and get your exercise on the jungle gym. This helps the both of you to be more carefree so that you simply have to enjoy your time together and reconnect.
Commit to More Mystery
When you want to add more mystery to your relationship, you want to take the time to commit to this. Both partners will need to make an effort to do things that help to reignite the passion in your relationship. Keep in mind that you can start with the small things so that adding more mystery does not feel like a chore. The key is to have some fun and make your relationship more exciting. This is worth the effort because couples who can maintain some mystery tend to have a much stronger bond compared to couples who do not.
If you feel that your relationship is lacking mystery, make sure to take the time to talk to your partner about this. Adding more mystery is something that the two of you can work on together. If you try to rekindle the mystery alone, you may find that your efforts fall flat or that this causes some problems in your relationship. Some this is a two-way street, talk to your partner and discuss ways to add more mystery that you can both agree on. This ensures that you are honest and working on improving your relationship together.
- Rosemary Kitchen
Tartakovsky, M. (2015). 6 Simple Ways to Reignite Your Relationship. Retrieved on March 5, 2015 from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/06/21/6-simple-ways-to-reignite-your-relationship/