A Wise Choice
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I had been suffering from depression for long time, and during my school days I used to cry uncontrollably. During this period I would not go out with friends, I experienced mood swings, and I would often feel worthless about myself. This continued until my college years. My parents were not able to identify my problem, so they just let it stay the way that it was without any intervention. Only during my second year of college did I recognize that I was unable able to live life like others, so I decided to find a way to help myself. I had always been reluctant to visit a doctor or take medications, and I never trusted either one, so I looked online and learned that there were many others who are suffering in a similar way, and a few had posted on how they overcame their depression without medication. I applied their strategies, but only a few methods worked for me for a brief period of time, so I continued researching and discovered what would work for me and stick. Subsequently I emerged from my depression after 2-years of struggle with the help of my college psychologist.
The next few years were the best years of my life, and those were the years in which I lived my life to its fullest. I got a good job, an awesome boyfriend, a beautiful apartment, and I had great friends - the sense of liveliness and positive energy was deeply fulfilling. During this time I did very well in my job, my man was head over heels in love with me, my friends called me for support, and my parents were happy. Each of these factors boosted my confidence, and it felt like I had it all, but I didn’t realize then in reality, I had created a bubble around me which had basically stopped the depression from entering. I changed my behavior, which changed my environment, and these two factors reinforced my positive perspective, essentially protecting me from depressing thoughts and feelings.
My Boyfriend's Proposal
When my boyfriend proposed to me, our joy knew no bounds, but everything turned upside down within next six months. I had loved babies all my life, and I wanted to have one immediately after my marriage, but after the first three months of marriage I failed to conceive – During the next three months I suffered from anxiety and although everybody said it was too soon to ask a doctor for his assessment, and in spite of my reluctance I decided to visit a doctor. He gave me the worst news I could ever hear, which was that I had uterus issues and never would be able to conceive. It was like a big heavy iron box was smashed on the my head, and I felt physically heavy on in my head and heart - My throat got stuck, words didn’t come out, I didn’t cry in the hospital I was just speechless. Once I arrived at home I cried aloud, and I didn’t come out of my room for next three days - All my friends, my husband and parents became very worried.
I couldn’t digest the news that the doctor gave to me, and my depression crept back into my mind. That same worthless feeling, uncontrollable crying, mood swings, etc. was back. When I remember that phase, I definitely agree that it was my husband who suffered a lot more than me, and I didn’t speak with him. I would just sit at home feeling like I was completely dead and buried. I recall that I was like this for more than five months and, one day my husband forced me to come to our favourite restaurant for dinner. I looked like hell due to my depression, and I didn’t want to go out at all, but I needed some air so I managed to dress well and went with him.
Our Favorite Place
The meal was nice, and he had booked my favorite table in the corner of our open restaurant near the beach. It was really beautiful, and when I sat down in front of him he looked into my eyes, and I couldn’t control my tears - Tears rolled down my cheeks, and he touched my fingers, took my hand in his and asked me to look into his eyes, then he said “ I would never leave you, This is not your fault, In case if I had been diagnosed with similar problem, you would have never left me right?, It is ok!! Let’s face it, you are beautiful person, best wife on earth, I do not want to see you like this, because it makes me feel sad. I am ready to do anything to make you happy, and I would always be with you during your hard times, so let’s get this depression out of you. I know that for all your life you had wanted to be a mother, and you would definitely make a wonderful mother, so don’t worry, there are many children who really need parents like us, lets adopt, have a family, and bring happiness and joy back into our home”. When he said this I was smiling with still tears rolling down my cheeks.
Within next two months, I was back to normal, I accepted my condition and went on with my life. After two years we both decided to adopt 5 children into our new family, and these angels brought such happiness and joy to our home that since then I have not looked back. This was one of the wisest choices of my life.
- Anonymous Contributor