5 Tips To Manage Anger

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Anger is a natural emotion, which has it's rightful place on the field of battle, and the worst thing that you can do is conceal your anger for a long period of time. However, excessive anger and chronic anger at home or in the work-place can destroy you and your relationships with your friends, family and co-workers.  More importantly, chronic anger is a symptom of depression. Have you ever wondered why there are some people who have a short fuse? Have you ever wondered why your co-worker is anger all the time?  I have, and most people have probably wondered the same thing as well - What makes people so upset sometimes? 

After working with many different people in many different environments, I have noticed that people who are angry and irritable all the time tend to have underlying personal or relationship problems. Their problems may be with their spouse, family, or themselves, but they each seem to have "something else" going on. If you are that “angry” person, you need to take the time to find out why you are angry.  Stress, low self-esteem, and self-doubt are the most common reasons why some people experience chronic anger.

How are Stress, Low Self-Esteem, and Self-Doubt linked to Anger?

Stress is defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from very demanding situations (2015). In other words, stress is when you get upset or become excessively worried about a situation or an event.  If a person constantly tells you, ‘You always worry about the small stuff’ or ‘You always blow everything out of proportion’, than you are show signs of being under excessive stress.  Stress can have negative affects to your health and job performance, and it can often result in the development of a short fuse.  In fact, most people exhibit stress by lashing out on people.

If you are constantly angery, your employer may think that you are an irrational person, and your co-workers may think that you are crazy. This symptom of depression can lead to the inability to progress in your career by resulting in a poor job evaluation.  The best way to deal with stress is to find a stress reliever. Some people go to the gym, read their Bible, or create a ritual.  As always, seek professional help if you are not able to cope with stress alone.

Low self-esteem can be a number one reason that some people express themselves angrily and with constant hostility. People who direct their anger toward a certain individual are may be experiencing underlying jealousy of that person due to their low self-esteem.  Furthermore, people with low self-esteem may create a tough persona in order to hide their insecurities and defend themselves from what they percieve to be real threats to their self-image. How do people with low self-esteem show anger? These people may have nasty attitudes, yell and scream at other people, and act irrationally.  People usually don’t like to be around them, and a perfect example is a person who physically and mentally abuses others.  Abusers often hurt their victims by belittling them, and it's almost always from a place of anger.

Self-doubt is when you don’t have confidence in yourself or your abilities. People who have self-doubt also create a tough exterior - They usually respond to challenging situations with intense and extreme levels of frustration, and they may respond to people around them in an angry tone. Many people ‘tread lightly’ or 'walk on egg-shells' in order to avoid being the next target of their anger.  A good example are co-workers who intimidate other people, which causes them to avoid contact.

How to Manage Anger

How to Manage Your Anger and Frustration provides great information on how to manage anger and other examples of why some people are constantly angry. The most important messages that you should take away from the article are figuring out what triggers your anger, and how to express your anger (2015). Below are other ways you can cope or control your anger.

1.    Find a coping mechanism. Counting to ten is a coping mechanism for some people. Anytime I find myself about to get angry, I count to ten or go to my office and listen to music. 

2.    Resolve the any underlying reason why you are angry. The best way to control your anger is to resolve your personal issues.  You are responsible for your behavior. Seek a counselor to help you with your personal issues. You have to be at peace with yourself in order to realize why you are directing angry toward certain people or a situation. 

3.    Get a hobby. Find things to do to relieve your anger. This can include taking a boxing class, reading, shopping, or anything else that you find to be creative and interesting. 

4.    Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Learn to how to pick your battles and not respond to everyone and everything. Sometimes it is not always about you.

5.    Take Anger Management classes. Anger management classes is great way to learn how to express your opinions respectfully without offending anyone. Remember, sometimes that it is best to just disagree. Anger management classes can also show you how to handle stressful situations and how to deal with difficult people.  

- Heather Browning, MBA
 
References.

Dictionary.com. Low Self-esteem. Retrieved January 19, 2015.

Dictionary.com. Self-doubt. Retrieved January 19, 2015.

Dictionary.com. Stress. Retrieved January 19, 2015.

B., Kim. How to Manage Your Anger and Frustration. Retrieved January 19, 2015.