5 Steps to Creating A Happier New Relationship
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Whether you are undertaking the search for a new love or you are simply trying to enjoy a little romance, you have much more control over a successful outcome than you may know. Here are five useful steps that you can follow to create a new and happy relationship.
1. Let Go of Past Relationship Resentments
Many individuals feel like they need to rush into a new relationship in hopes that it will serve as an emotional painkiller in the wake of a painful rejection or a difficult breakup. When you a grieving a past love loss, in practice, however, it makes it difficult to move on. As hard as it may seem, you need to take time to understand, process and simply move on from your past experiences before attempting to bond with a new special someone. There are several different ways to help you let go of the past - For instance, keep your private and honest thoughts in a cathartic journal, or you may find it easier to discuss your feelings of anger or confusion with a therapist. The key is to find out how you can avoid making repeated mistakes and help you come to terms with your past experiences. You will be ready to move on once you can take a look at past relationships objectively and feel as if you really have learned something from them.
2. Put Clear Boundaries in Place
Give your priorities some major thought before you begin your search for a new partner. Think about what you appreciate in people the most. Is it most important to you to be able to share laughs with your partner, or would you need a more particularly ambitious partner? Once you build up a rough standard of what you would like your partner to meet in order to make yourself happy, hold potential candidates to this standard. Don’t let yourself fall short, but know what is attainable and be realistic. Also, it is very important to know what you are looking for with regard to commitment. A relationship will lead to heartbreak if you are searching for a spouse while your partner is simply searching for some fun for a few months, no matter how attractive that person is to you. Similarly, you should avoid seeking someone who clearly is looking to spend a lot of time with you if you are the one who is more interested in seeing someone a few nights a week casually.
3. Use All Available Resources
Try branching out into the online dating world if you have only ever tried meeting your friends of friends or instigating a conversation at bars with attractive strangers. There are hundreds of different onlinesites that are available and many do not charge a joining fee. In addition, some will be marketed exclusively as being associated with "casual" or "serious" dating, while other target people living specific areas. Also, keep in mind that there may be events or singles nights in your town. Trying talking a friend into accompanying you to make these social events more comfortable and less daunting. Along with pursuing these avenues, think about generally spending some extra time simply meeting new people with no strings attached. While an art course or a yoga class will be in its own right interesting and useful, you might also meet someone who is like-minded and accepts a dinner or drink invitation.
4. Be Open-Minded
Even though building up a clear vision of the kind of relationship you are searching for, it is very helpful to keep your deal-breakers in mind, and try not to judge the people you meet before you truly know them. Spending a couple hours with someone that you might sense isn’t a good match might help to prove you wrong within just a few short hours. After all, most people have colleagues or friends that at first meeting didn’t make a good first impression! Try to give the person the opportunity to click with you, but be firm and clear if you choose that there is no appropriate connection or romantic spark present to take the date to the next level.
5. Be Genuine
Lastly, finding a new and happy relationship depends partly on you putting yourself in that relationship. Even though you naturally want to put forward your best self on the first date, you should also make it important to let your personal characteristics and uniqueness shine through. Don’t be someone who you are not (i.e. suppressing a particular sense of humor) for the sake of attracting someone; ultimately a person who likes the real you truly will be much more likely to help you make a happy and lasting relationship. It is best to find out sooner than later if there is something with another person that simply doesn’t gel.