10 Things To Tell Your Boyfriend or Husband
On a quest for personal growth and want to improve your relationship? Even the best relationships can do with a boost from time to time. Here are 10 things you can say to your boyfriend or husband to reach his heart and draw you closer together.
1. I really like the way you did ___.
Men love to hear compliments about what they do. It makes them feel a sense of achievement and boosts their self-esteem in a more pronounced way than it does for women. Hearing that the woman they love appreciates their efforts goes a long way in improving the relationship.
To make this pay real dividends for you, choose a time when your mate did something that really meant a lot to you. Whether he supported you emotionally at a difficult time, or treated you to some romance, praising him for it is a sure-fire way to make it happen again. Only make sure not to say, 'Why can't you always be like that?' ! Men are much more sensitive to our criticism than we know.
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2. I really like the way you did ___.
Hey wait! That's the same as Number 1, right? Well, sort of. This time, for added effect, say the same thing, but in front of people. Especially other men. This will have the same effect as number 1. To the power of a thousand!
3. I'm so proud of you because ___.
Men love to inspire pride in their partners. Even when they brag, and we are tempted to take them down a peg or two, we should still try to build them up. When men brag, it is not usually because they feel overly proud of themselves, but actually because they feel insecure and are trying to hide it. A genuine compliment from us can make them feel more secure and might even help towards getting rid of bragging and arrogance in future, assisting them in their personal growth.
4. I trust you.
Often, we think that we trust our men, but our actions communicate differently. We might nag him to complete a household project, become suspicious when he goes out, or take over when he's trying to fix the DVD player. Though these things may seem small, or even helpful, to us, he interprets our reminders or reprimands as us thinking he is incompetent. This can be very painful to a man and toxic to relationship health.
5. I respect you.
Show that you respect your man's feelings, opinions and decisions by listening to him and taking on board suggestions that he makes. We can often get more defensive with our partners than we would with our friends, but if we really slow down and hear what he has to say, he will feel respected, which is important to a man. So important in fact, that a study found that men wanted to be respected more than they wanted to be loved!
6. Can you help me with this?
Not forcing a load of laundry on him, but rather asking him to use his skills or abilities to assist you in some way, will make your man feel needed. Men loved to be called on for their expertise and assistance. Make sure to thank him afterwards and you will give him a warm fuzzy feeling!
7. Out of all the men in the world, I'd pick you.
Men have problems with competition and feeling inferior to each other. For many a man, life is a constant battle in which he has to prove his worth as a man to the world, to other men, to you and to himself. Give him some time off worrying by reassuring him that with you, he is the Alpha male.
8. Thank you for everything you do for me.
Letting our partners know they are on the right track with making us happy makes them feel satisfied. Believe it or not, one of most men's top priorities is making the woman in their life happy. They are not always quite sure how to (and, let's admit, it's not always easy!), so letting him know he's doing well will really boost his security.
9. I love having sex with you.
Women often don't understand what sex means to men emotionally. Men are not just lustful and horny, desperate for sex because it feels good. Sex makes men feel accepted and safe. In a world where they feel they have to fight all day, they want to come home to a haven in which they can feel safe. Sex makes them feel that whatever the world thinks, you accept them and love them just as they are. It gives them the confidence and self-esteem to improve their lives. Men feel emotionally supported by having sex with the woman they love. Part of our self-development as partners is understanding how men truly feel about sex with us.
10. You are my hero.
Deep within our grown men still live little boys who want to be superheroes. Though they may not fly through the sky, they sure do a lot for us women. Let the man in your life know that he's your superhero. Don't worry, it won't build up his ego. It will just make him more motivated to be a better man.
If we are having a difficult time in our relationship, saying these things may not come so easy. We might feel that our man has let us down and hurt us too much for us to say these things. If we are in that position, we have to make a decision. We can't stay in a relationship where we tear each other down. We have to make a choice to end it or to start building it up. And these 10 sentences are great building blocks to revive even the most hopeless of relationships, because they speak directly to the hearts of our men.
- Iman Mohiki
This is one of the #1 most comprehensive Psychology Books ever written, and it's free on Kindle (Get a copy, because it's like a Masters Degree wrapped-up into a single book). However, I recommend that you upgrade to the Print edition, because that copy comes with images.
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